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آموزش زبان انگلیسی
201
Rattle your bottles in Rollocks' van.
202
A fly and flea flew into a flue,
said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?'
'let us fly' said the flea
said the fly 'shall we flee'
so they flew through a flaw in the flue.
203
How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.
اس ام اس هاي عاشقانه
I
love my EYES when u look into them,
I
love my NAME when u say it,
I
love my HEART when u love it,
I
love my LIFE when u are in it.
چشامو
وقتی تو بهشون نگاه میکنی دوست دارم،
اسممو
وقتی دوست دارم که تو صداش میکنی،
قلبمو
وقتی دوست دارم که تو دوسش داشته باشی،
زندگیم
رو وقتی دوست دارم که تو توش هستی.....
My
heart is made 2 luv u, my lips are made 2 kis u, my eyes r made 2 c u, my
hands
r made 2 hold u, evry part of me wants u, bcoz i was made just 4 u!!
قلبم
برای دوست داشتن تو ، لبام برای بوسیدن تو ، چشام برای دیدن تو و دستام برای نگه
داشتن تو بوجود اومدن؛ چون من فقط بخاطر تو ساخته شدم!!!!
چيزهايي كه هر شخص بايد بداند
THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW
(or 50 Completely Useless Facts!)
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The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed. Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon. Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions! What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France. "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order. "Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel.
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Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible. Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it. The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food. |
1
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
2
A quick witted cricket critic.
4
I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.
5
How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?
from the comic Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Waterson
6
How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?
7
Send toast to ten tense stout saints' ten tall tents.
by Raymond Weisling
8
Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas.
Both look stupid in hats.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
Both tend to have "hip" problems.
Neither understand football.
Both look good in a fur coat.
Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Both constantly want back rubs.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
Both put too much value on kissing.
Dogs don't cry (unless they have to pee).
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
جوكهايي به زبان انگليسي
Teacher: "What is the climate of New Zealand?"
Jimmy: "Very cold, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong."
Jimmy: "But, Sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen."
Sarah: "Let's play school!"
Kelly: "O.K. But let's play I'm absent."
"I say, waiter, this soup tastes funny!"
"So why don't you laugh?"
"I don't want you using those bad words any more."
"But, Mother, Shakespeare uses then."
"Well, don't play with him again."
IQ Test
Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig, huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
چگونه يك زبان ميتواند عجيب به نظر برسد؟
How strange can a language be?
There is no egg in an eggplant. It doesn't look or taste like an egg.
There is no ham in a hamburger.
There is no pine nor apple in a pineapple.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
English muffins were not invented in England and French fries were not invented in France, so where did such names come from?
1. To find a woman you need Time and Money therefore:
2. Time is money so:
3. Therefore:
4. Money is the root of all problems:
5. Therefore:
"English is a Crazy Language"
Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
عشق اقيانوس وسيعي است که دو ساحل رابه يکديگر پيوند مي دهد
Love is Wide Ocean that joins two shores
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زندگي بدون عشق بي معني است و خوبي بدون عشق غير ممکن
Life without love is none sense and goodness without
Love is impossible
